Expectant Grandpa

 As spring grudgingly gave way to summer this year, my thoughts were not so much on the usual sunny beaches, cool plunges into Lake Michigan, and ice cream in the park.  No, this is the summer I became a grandpa.  As Katelyn's due date approached, my mind would often wander to an imagining of that magical, emotional moment of seeing, touching, holding my grandchild for the first time.  Undoubtedly peering through tear filled eyes at my daughter, barely able to speak.  My expectation was one of high and powerful emotion, for which I would of course be completely unashamed.

 You wouldn't know it after reading this far, but I know a thing or two about expectations and how they are not to be trusted.  They can, at a minimum, lead to disappointment and in some circumstances, be downright destructive. "My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations."  I only know that line because I've heard it about ten thousand times in the past thirteen years or so.  Living in the moment and accepting it as being perfect right now is a concept and a state of being that I continue to work on.  And sometimes the teacher is a one day old newborn baby boy.

 The first time I held my grandson Liam, just a couple hours after his birth, I did not soar, and no tears flowed...as expected.  I kissed my lovely daughter, hugged her husband Nick, and was happy.  Maybe relieved.  But not overwhelmed, not overcome, not what I thought I'd be...what I expected.

 The next day, we again stopped by the hospital for a visit before heading home.  That day however, Liam was not as tightly swaddled in blankets, and little hands and feet dangled and darted about.  I patiently waited my turn to hold him once more, of course deferring to the grandmas present. Finally he was carefully handed over and I slowly sat down, never taking my eyes off him.  The next thing I felt was unspeakably amazing, moving, and ...unexpected.  The little hand of my day old grandson suddenly gripping the end of my finger. Reaching across two generations to say hi.  And there it was.  The magic moment.  Tears, quivering chin, faltering voice, the whole thing that I expected would happen the day before...happening at the perfect time, exactly as it should be.  A precious, unexpected moment I'll never forget.

 It won't be the last thing I learn from Liam.  In time, I hope he learns a thing or two from me.  Whenever and whatever it's supposed to be.