Now I'll sit contentedly as hell alone at a table in a coffee shop till they won't have me. It's not that I necessarily need someone knocking knees with me at the table but it's people around me that make the moment right. I don't listen in on conversations, but I'm somehow comforted by the cloud of murmuring all about. Revisiting the wooded path imagery, it's like pointing out that I'd prefer the sound of the cool water in a stream rushing over stones to the utter silence that some nature walkers seem to prefer.
Don't worry, I'm not getting ready to get all self analytical here. And while her rates are very reasonable, Lucy is not behind her booth, so I'll leave it at what it's not. It's not plain, tangible fear, as in fear of the dark or of a toothy beast lurking behind a tree. As far as deeper seeded, more subtle fears ... again, Lucy's in school or something.
It's also not self loathing, conscious or otherwise. Surprising as it may be to some, I'm really pretty darned ok with me. Sure, I have faults, goofy quirks and an ever-expanding forehead, but I'm not looking for anyone else's shoes to schlep around in. Maybe it's just that I like me better when mixed with you. I'm the chip and you're the dip. No offense. Also, see what I did there? I'm a CMU grad. Anyway.... Yes, I think that's it. There are things I like about me that only you bring out or activate. A cool reaction in the petri dish of the coffee shop, public transit, or just slightly populated path - complete with just enough conversation that we can't hear that werewolf stir just ahead.
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