I'd love to fire up my blog every few days with abundant sun shining down on unicorns tracing the arc of a rainbow. But alas, we're living real lives that sometimes hurt. And sometimes it's the hurt of a heart being ripped from your chest. When the event that causes such pain is completely unexpected, well, there just aren't words... That being said though, I'd like to consider words. The ones we don't always bother to say. The ones we'd give anything to go back and say - with feeling.
We've all experienced or at least heard of a person trying to deal with a sudden, completely unexpected death of a loved one. Perhaps a person who was young or in the so called prime of life. One such heart wrenching loss recently touched the unprepared hearts of people very close to me. The tears I have shed are for them and the suffering that I can only imagine. I'm reminded once again though of the uncertainty of life, and all too often...of death. And I'm reminded too of the importance of goodbye.
How many times have I parted for the day from the people I love the most with a "yup" or a "don't forget to..." or nothing at all save the sound of the front door clicking shut? She can't hear me anyway with the blow dryer going. He's in too big a hurry to hold him up with a hug. May I offer with not the slightest hint of delicacy, "Bullshit"
Does an "I love you" or a hug stop unexpected awfulness from happening? Of course not. Would it somehow soften the searing pain of loss? Not a bit. But in the days we hope will come on the other side of the tempest of anguish, I think there would be a measure of comfort there, perhaps one less regret. So in the end is this simply a selfish insurance against my own potential suffering? In part, perhaps. But in the meantime, on all the days that aren't visited by tragedy, it's a pretty good habit to add to the short list of other good habits I try to follow, and it may from time to time send a loved one into even a rainy morning with a moment of abundant sunshine.
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